Cold Comfort
by mascaret
Summary: Set pre-Epiphanies. Laura is in search of a comfort that Bill can't provide.
1. Chapter 1

A/N Set pre-Epiphanies

_Cold Comfort_

Coming off shift, Bill entered his quarters to change clothes and splash some water on his face before heading to where _Colonial One_ was docked inside the _Galactica._ He wanted to go straight from the CIC but he knew if he showed up looking the way he did now the President would take one look at him and send him on his way.

Not thinking, he turned on the wireless.

_"We are awaiting official confirmation, but reports are coming in that just moments ago President Roslin succumbed to the cancer she had been so valiantly fighting."_

Bill felt his heart seize in his chest.

_"Secretary of Education, Forty-third in the line of succession under President Adar prior to the cylon attack, little is known about the early life of the late President Roslin."_

Picking up the phone before it could even get off a ring, instead of Dee's soft dulcet tones, he got Saul's gruff voice.

"Another frakking false alarm."

It was the third of the day.

Attempting to be the first on the air with the announcement the few competing wireless stations left at the end of the worlds were jumping the gun regularly.

He knew it, but each and every time he still reacted because he also knew that one time – very soon - it would be true.

His heart did it again when he entered Laura's office on _Colonial One_ and saw Billy slumped in a chair there instead of a curtain over with Laura. The past few days Billy had managed to do what Bill himself so desperately desired to do – refuse to leave her side. Laura joked that the young man was starting to look almost as bad as her.

Looking up and seeing Bill's expression, Billy explained. "She said she had some questions. She wanted to speak to a priest. He's in there with her now. She didn't ask me to step out, but –" Billy looked uncomfortable - "I didn't feel as if it was my place to stay."

As a fellow nonbeliever, Bill understood the feeling.

"You can go in if you want. They're not alone. Sarah Porter is in there too."

Knowing that he had no answers for whatever questions Laura would have for a priest, Bill shook his head and took the seat across from Billy.

_tbc_


	2. Chapter 2

_Cold Comfort_

"Tell me about the Fields of Elysium. What does it look like?" Laura asked. "Is it familiar places you used to know or is it someplace completely new?"

Attempting to moisten her dry lips, she found her mouth had no moisture to spare.

"Does everyone get their own Elysium Fields or is it just one big Elysium Fields? I mean, is it segregated or is everyone together?"

The priest that Billy had found for her just stared passively.

Letting all of her questions out in one burst while she still had the energy, she asked. "What ages are people? Are they the age they died? The age they want to be? When my sisters died one of them was pregnant. Would she still have been pregnant when she reached the Elysium Fields? Will the baby ever be born or will she stay that way – pregnant – forever?"

The priest still made no attempt to say anything.

"How does it work?" Laura demanded. "How does any of it work?"

"Does it matter?" the priest asked in a placating tone.

Momentarily spent by her outburst, all Laura could manage now was to wait to see if he would elaborate.

"After the things you've done, after the kind of life you've lived, even if it did exist, do you really think that_ you_ would be going there?"

Seated beside her, Sarah Porter's eyes widened.

Laura wanted to laugh, but she was so tired. A slight hum was the best she could do. "Mmm. No, I suppose not."

"The question _you _need to be asking is _what should I expect hell to be like?_"

The Gemenese delegate reached out to grip Laura's hand, but Laura pulled away. Porter's grasping could never be mistaken for the comforting hold of Elosha.

"Maybe instead off wasting your prayers asking for eleventh hour forgiveness you should use the time to consider the thought that your gods are every bit as false as their prophet and prepare to embrace the nothingness that you are about to become?"

Laura hummed amused. This hallucination was quite similar to one she had had during her Chamalla withdrawal in the brig. It was far less unsettling this time with this random priest playing the role of her subconscious instead of Billy.

Closing her eyes to let visionless sleep reclaim her, she didn't hear the answer to the question Porter posed.

"What denomination did you say you were again, Brother Cavil?"

_tbc_


	3. Chapter 3

_Cold Comfort_

Bill and Billy both rose as the priest came through the curtain.

The man grasped one of Billy's hands in both of his. "She's sleeping now, but please don't hesitate to call me back if she should have any further questions."

The clergyman shook hands with Bill before departing.

As soon as he was over the threshold, Porter poked her head through the curtain to whisper. "Get a different priest."

"What?" Billy asked.

"If she asks for a priest again get a different one. And this time make sure to request a reform priest. Those evangelical ones are all fire and brimstone. Hate the sin _and_ the sinner. Reform priests are more hate the sin, but love the sinner."

As Porter left, Dee arrived carrying with her a tray. Bill had seen her just a short time ago in the CIC. She had gone off shift the same time he had. She acknowledged him with a nod.

"How are you holding up? Can I get you anything?"

Bill knew the question was directed at Billy, not at him. Maybe Bill should have thought about a career in politics. It seemed he had the poker face for it. So far the only person that seemed to have caught on to his feelings for the President was Billy. The tip off, Billy had said, was that he was the only person who didn't try to convince Billy to leave the President's side for even a few minutes.

Billy shook his head.

Taking the lid off of the tray, Dee smiled. "If you won't go to the food I'll just have to bring the food to you."

The silence that ensued was broken by the arrival of Kara.

"Hey."

Bill was surprised to see Kara here, but he supposed he shouldn't be. Perhaps their time together on Kobol had brought Kara and Laura together. "The President is resting, Kara, but if you'd like to wait -"

"- Actually, I came to see you. Chief said he thought he saw you come this way. Sir, I had another idea about how we could get back to Caprica without the cylons detecting us."

Bill sighed. "We've been over this already, Kara. We just don't have the ships or the man power."

"Okay so maybe not now, but what about when we get to Earth? We are days away – at the very most."

Kara didn't know when to quit. Even the dark look that Bill threw her wasn't enough to ward her off from taking that angle.

"It's probably more like hours. We need a plan –"

"-We are not having this discussion!"

"But sir, once the President di –"

Trying to tamp down the rage roiling inside, Bill turned his back on her.

Jaw clenched, Billy couldn't speak.

It was Dee who told her, "- _Not here_. I think you should go, Kara."

Looking through the curtain at the President to make sure that their exchange hadn't woken her, Bill didn't like what he saw. Even in slumber, the expression she wore was a troubled one.

Turning back, Bill found Kara still there. He started to make Dee's request an order when the President began to cough.

Too weak to maneuver on her own, Bill assisted Billy in getting her into a sitting position to better open up her airway.

Once the coughing spasm had passed and she had taken a drink of the glass on her bedside table, she asked, "Is the priest here yet?"

"He just left." Bill had been caught off guard by the question.

Billy caught his mistake and covered for him. "He came by while you were sleeping. He was going to wait, but he got called away."

Her eyes flicked back and forth between the two of them as if she wasn't quite sure if she should believe them. Bill knew that the only thing that frightened Laura more than death was living long enough for the cancer to progress to her brain as it had in her mother's case.

She worried needlessly. Her breath was coming in wheezes. It wouldn't be long now. They all knew that.

"I'll go put a call in to get another priest here." Billy offered.

"I'll do it." Dee offered so that Billy could keep his place beside the President. She gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze before heading to the phone.

Whether it was that Dee was taking too long or she had recovered enough to speak, after a few minutes of silence, Laura turned on Billy. "Billy, what do you think comes after this life?"

Billy hesitated a moment before admitting. "Nothing."

"Nothing." She repeated evenly.

Billy looked down at the carpet as he shrugged. "Maybe it's better than this."

"Nothing."she said it again. With a slightly arched eyebrow and a hum of - was it humor? Resignation? she admitted, "Maybe."

Bill wasn't sure if she had forgotten he was in the room or if she already had a fairly good idea of his views on the matter and could do without hearing Billy's opinion echoed.

There was an awkward moment before Billy spoke again. "But what do I know? I'll go see how Dee's doing on getting another priest in here."

Bill's eyes followed Billy as he moved past the open curtain. Kara was still in Laura's office waiting to continue pressing her latest plan on him.

As Laura again had trouble catching her breath, he saw Kara instinctively turn to look out the porthole as if she expected Earth to just suddenly appear at any moment.

Looking out the porthole all Bill saw was the austere gray of the interior of Galactica's docking bay.

Even without seeing the way Kara looked out of the porthole, Bill knew she was a true believer – in the gods and the President. He sometimes suspected that she had more faith in Laura's place in the prophecies than Laura herself.

Reaching out to touch Laura's hand, it felt so cold in his. He rubbed it between his hands before standing. "I'll be right back."

Bill approached Kara.

_tbc_


	4. Chapter 4

Kara wasn't sure what exactly it was that she was supposed to be doing in here. When the Old Man had asked her to come in and sit with the President until they could get a priest of some kind in she had agreed only because she didn't think saying no was likely to put him in a mood more likely to approve the latest version of her rescue plan for the people left behind on Caprica. Dee had offered to come in with her and Kara had gratefully accepted.

"The Old Man said you had some things you wanted to talk about."

The President raised an eyebrow in a way that Kara took to say _'and this is who he sent me?' _

Still, she asked. "What do you think comes after this life?"

"Sir?" Kara tilted her head. Given the circumstances, she really shouldn't have been, but Kara found herself caught off guard by the question.

"What do you think Hades is like? Do you think it's the same generic hell for everyone or do you think people get their own hell personally tailored to them?"

Kara shook her head. "I don't know, sir, but I don't believe …"

Kara found it hard to believe that the gods own instrument would be consigned to hell when she died and she started to say as much. But then she thought of the things that the President had had her do to Leoben. And the lie the President had told him. If - as Leoben believed - he truly did have a soul, where did that leave the President's?

She thought of the gun footage of the destruction of the Olympic Carrier and the flicker of shadow that still haunted Lee.

She didn't know the President all that well Kara realized so she didn't bother to try to dispute her. "I don't know what hell is going to be like, but when you get there ask for a woman named Socrata. I'm sure she could help you get the lay of the land."

The President gave a pained chuckle. "I'm sure I'll know enough of the crowd there as it is."

Dee gave Kara a disapproving look.

"What?" Kara asked. "I bet she knows which direction she will be heading better than you do!"

Taking the President's hand, Dee tried to turn the conversation in a different direction. "After this comes Earth and it's going to be wonderful."

Dee smiled. "It's going to be everything we've been dreaming of. Earth will have more oceans and clearer lakes and streams than Aquaria. The lowliest mountain on Earth will be higher than the tallest peak on Sagittaron. Earth is going to have more rolling fields than all of Aerilon. There will be fresh fruit and grain enough for everyone."

Listening to Dee list all that was best about each of the Twelve Colonies and describe how better Earth would be, Kara finally got into the spirit and joined in. "The beer there will be better than anything brewed on Virgon."

At Dee's eye roll, Kara realized that the President probably wasn't much of a beer drinker. "Or any of the wine made on Leonis."

Dee squeezed the President's hand. "There will be more fauna than Scorpia. Everywhere will be teaming with life."

"You remember how lush and green it was on Kobol?" Kara tried again. "There will be more vegetation than Kobol because you just know that the thirteenth tribe wouldn't have settled just anywhere."

"Mmm." The President made a humming noise. "I wish I could see it." She said it so quietly. "Even for a day."

"That's not the way the scriptures say it happens." Kara reminded her.

Seeing Dee's look of exasperation, Kara offered. "But maybe we could bury you on Earth instead of putting you out the airlock."

The conversation briefly ground to a halt as the other two women just stared at Kara.

Finally, Dee tried for a recovery. "There will be so much open space! People will be able to spread out like they've only dreamed of while aboard the ships we call home right now.

"And the lost tribe will be so happy to see us." Now Dee had tears in her eyes. "They'll welcome us with open arms."

"If they don't shoot first and ask questions later." Kara sniped, but the others seemed to have given up on listening to her.

"Earth is going to be so wonderful." Dee repeated wistfully. Squeezing the President's hand, she added. "And you'll be the one to have brought us all there."

"Still, you have to admit it would have been nice to have had a chance to actually see it myself."

"You did get to see Earth." Kara pointed out. "When we were on Kobol."

"For all of five minutes." The President countered.

"Yeah, but you saw it." Kara continued to argue.

"There wasn't much to see – it was a little dark. All I got to see was some over grown grass."

As Kara again opened her mouth, the President relented. "But I suppose, yes, I did get to see Earth." The President sighed. "You do make Earth sound wonderful and that's all well and fine for the rest of you, but it still doesn't exactly cover the question of what comes next for me."

"No, I guess not." Kara admitted before going on to say - entirely sincere, "But thanks for biting it so the rest of us could get to the good stuff."

Dee put her head down.

Putting a hand to her temple, the President closed her eyes.

###

Billy was still off trying to find a priest when Kara came back through the curtain.

"She's asleep again. Or at least pretending to be. One of the two."

Following Kara out, Dee cuffed the other woman on the back of the head. "Couth, Kara! Find some!"

"Me?! You were the one that brought up Earth in the first place!"

Not bothering to ask, Bill moved past them to take his turn sitting by Laura's side. He was pleased to see that this time as she slept there was a hint of a smile on her face.

_Finis_


End file.
